It's not all it's cracked up to be...

Sometimes I wish I could rip out my heart just so I don't have to feel.
Many people are seemingly fine doing that.

Reading a few words from somebody who wrote something today really had me thinking and feeling. Railroading me off of my regularly scheduled life-coasting. What's up with that?

Sometimes it feels convenient to have those moments, a sudden rush of truth and clarity. Something with purpose written all over it, and then other times it's (like today)..... frustrating. Not frustrating because I didn't get the point of the statement but frustration because my heart can't take that message today.

So many opportunities in life get set on a backburner due to umpteen different things that just make you feel too busy. Busy busy busy. I'm whining like poor Jan about Marsha (excuse the Brady Bunch cliche). Busy busy busy. I know one of my goals, but it seems like it becomes secondary to the busy, busy.

Simplify is going to need to be one of my focal points for a while. Simplify in the mess of life. Sounds fun right? I don't get that thought going through me when I think about that word.

I'm pretty sure the point of purpose is to keep purpose in and to not let it leak away. Purpose,Opportunity and Simplify seem like the peas in the pod.

"Getting there is the hard part" I'm sure. So will today be it? That's the part I am not sure of. Or is it really not all it's cracked up to be?

Where is Here? How can it be?

I guess for a long long time I've been kidding myself. Thinking I could do better, be better than I was or am. Maybe it seems defeatist, but sometimes it seems that at the very least being truthful to me is the only thing I can do. Maybe now I can see that I am not capable of the things I thought I could do, that was only me living with an illusion... a mirage.

Up close I can see the cracks, the wavy heat lines are gone now that I'm right on top of it now... it's still just a dry spot in front of me. Not really the promised outcome wavering just out of reach, now it's just the reality of it all. I guess that's what it is.