Friday, February 12, 2010

Where is Here? How can it be?

I guess for a long long time I've been kidding myself. Thinking I could do better, be better than I was or am. Maybe it seems defeatist, but sometimes it seems that at the very least being truthful to me is the only thing I can do. Maybe now I can see that I am not capable of the things I thought I could do, that was only me living with an illusion... a mirage.

Up close I can see the cracks, the wavy heat lines are gone now that I'm right on top of it now... it's still just a dry spot in front of me. Not really the promised outcome wavering just out of reach, now it's just the reality of it all. I guess that's what it is.

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